The Assassin: Hawk Protection Agency

The song "Fight" by Three 6 Mafia hits on the loudspeaker, and the crowd leans forward in their collective seats to catch a glimpse of a new figure in the WCF. A large black man walks onto the stage, and looks around for a moment. He wears a dark black suit with a long black coat, as well as matching sunglasses that seem oddly out of place indoors. He wears a single diamond earring that glints noticeably next to his shiny bald head, and walks purposefully towards the ring with an aggressive gait that seems strangely rhythmic and effortless. He steps into the ring over the top rope, the first time anyone takes notice of how huge this man really is, and picks up a microphone. He speaks in a deep, resonant voice:

Hawk: I don't talk too much usual, but there's somethin' needs sayin'. Since I been in this here federation, you really hasn't seen much of old Hawk. But that's about to change, cause I gots a business proposition for EVERYBODY in here.

Growin' up in streets, with the trainin' I have, let's just say I got some skills that can prove of value to some people in our little federation. I'm a bad dude, to put it simple, and I can take care of some things that maybe you don't want to be takin' care of, or can't be takin' care of. The way I figures it, there's no sense in me bein' the baddest man around these parts, and not puttin' my skills to work.

So here's the deal. I'm startin' a little agency, let's call it a"bodyguard service," that I'ma call the "Assassin: Hawk Protection Agency." You come to me, hire me, and I will do your business for you. You need somebody to watch your back? I'm yo man. Tryin' to intimidate cats who are hasslin' you? I'm yo man. Need a tag partner and nobody else will step up? I'm yo man. Lookin' for somebody to get beat up and broken down backstage? You know I'm yo man.

And it's just like that. If I like you, maybe I does your business out of the goodness of my heart. If I don't like you, I still do your business, but maybe you pay me back. With money or favors. It's DAT simple. I'm a bad man, and I can help you reach yo ends while I'm reachin' mines. So step up. Who needs "protectin"?

He laughs, deeply, and walks out of the ring. On the way out, he distributes a few fliers to sound technicians and ring announcers. A camera zooms in closely on the advertisment...

Anna Young is standing backstage with Assassin: Hawk. He towers over her, and his dark skin and long dark coat provide a stark contrast to her fair hair and eyes. She begins her interview by asking him the question on the minds of many WCF fans...

Anna: So, Hawk, I think we're all wondering. Why didn't you fight in the title match against XvaiX and Alfsta? We all saw you defeat Magicana to earn a spot in that match, and yet you didn't fight...what's the story?

Hawk: Well, let me tell you bout that, boo chops. As you may or may not be knowin', I am at this very moment launchin' a little business venture called the Assassin: Hawk Protection Agency. Way I sees it, I been killin' peo--- umm, providin' services for money all my life, and there's no reason for that to change now that I be in the WCF.

So, to answer yo question, my decision was all about business, baby. I had a client who, paid me let's say, to procure for him a title shot. And I went out, put Magicana to sleep, and got him that title shot. He didn't want to fight in no 3-way match, but don't worry, he'll be getting that shot down the road. And don't even worry about asking who he is...you know yo boy works all confidential like.

Anna: So you were paid? In money?

Hawk: Nah, girl. I said it before, if I like you, I might do your business out the goodness of my heart. In this particular situation, I earned myself a powerful ally. And the chance to get out there on the show and let everybody see what I can put down. As y'all know, I was so impressive in the ring that I earned a shot at the new Extreme Title from Cris Mastine. That's how I does things, man. I does my work, and I make my moves at the same time

Anna: Well, thanks for explaining that situation to our viewers, I know it was something of a mystery, and I'm sure this will clear it up for them...[/i]

Hawk: Yeah, yeah, it ain't no problem. Let me leave you with two thoughts before I go. First of all, I think everyone should be understandin' now that the AHPA is fo' real. First client, and I'm already procurin' title shots for him. Everyone should be droppin' by my locker room at this point, because guess what? If you're not hirin' me, your opponent is.

Second, Assassin: Hawk is ready to take over. Got a taste of the big-time when I hit the Back Alley Kill Shot to earn a World Title shot, and I'm not stopping until I get me some of that gold. Every assassin needs to roll strapped at all times, and I'ma get me that Extreme strap. Soon. So be ready for that, baby.

The camera cuts to the back, a dark room somewhere in the arena. Assassin:Hawk is sitting at a table, wearing his usual dark suit and smoking a fat cigar. He stubs out the cigar, and glares into the camera menacingly...

Hawk: So y'all all saw the Extreme Star Match. You saw how I do. I beat some of them boys on my own, and I rolled with one of the most powerful dudes in this here fed. So I got knocked out on a lucky shot, it happen some times, we all know it do. I ain't mad about it. I put on a show, and y'all saw again what the AHPA is all about. I be makin' power moves, and it just a matter of time till I be wearin' that strap.

But you know what? I come in second in that match, and I put on the best show for the peoples, and I don't got a match comin' up. Nah, baby, I'm not just sayin' I don't got a title match, which you, me, and that lamp post all knows is true. I don't even got a MATCH. I don't like that.

I come here to be the best. I come here to beat the best. I did NOT come here to sit here on my ass and watch chumps like Marcus Idol who I wipe the mat wit get my title shot. So I hope you ready to give me that shot that I deserve, Mista GM, because I'm waitin'.

And until then, y'all remember the AHPA is out in force. You best hire me, because if you ain't hirin' me, your opponent is.

Sorry hawk, havent decided your opponent yet :S